"It was pure luck, coincidence, that we were able to take them in here. At the same time a mother retired here and a family house was empty," tells SOS mother Maire who started working at the village in November 2005. "As Rein was too old to stay in the orphanage for small children any longer, the children were facing a breakup."
Actually, the children had already been separated in the orphanage: 15 to 20 children of similar ages lived in one room and could see their brothers and sisters only occasionally in the playing room. "When the teachers allowed it we had the chance to visit our sisters," one of the boys remembers.
The next shock for the siblings was that the two eldest boys were about to be adopted abroad. (According to the official policy of the Estonian authorities, children should be adopted within Estonia; only if it is not possible to find couples who are willing to adopt older children or children with special needs, adoptive parents from abroad come into question.) "The relatives and the local government started to look for a solution and as we were also looking for children for the village, we found each other. It was pure luck," says SOS mother Maire. "Usually it's difficult to take five siblings to the village as there are only few free places per family house, and siblings should always be kept together. They are lucky that they are still together." (The preferred option for SOS Children's Villages would have been keeping the siblings together with relatives, but their grandmother is too old to look after five children and their aunt is living in very narrow circumstances and already has three children to care for. By taking the children in, SOS Children's Villages ensured that they could stay together in Estonia. The siblings are in close contact with their relatives and the village staff supports them in cultivating these family ties.)
The strength of SOS Children's Villages
The children adapted to village life slowly, but steadily. At the very beginning it was even difficult for them to get used to each other, as they had de facto been separated for such a long time. They started to call Maire "mother" soon, but they were afraid of going out and of staying at home without their new mother.
All five siblings followed Maire everywhere she went, making her feel "like a locomotive with five wagons following me. Their need for physical touch was huge. After the meals, they were queuing up in front of me to sit on my lap for five minutes each. The need for having a mother was so obvious! I think that filling this gap is the strength of SOS Children's Villages."
"We had some adaption problems, but I was happy to see that whenever there were misunderstandings outside, they stepped up to protect each other at home," the SOS mother praises the freshened feelings among the siblings. "Whenever I give candies to the youngest, five-year-old Triin, she asks, 'What about Eidi? She also wants candy and the others want some, too!"
Emotional Work
"Triin was only two when she had to leave her home. She does not even remember her home any more, not to mention her parents. The work here is a very emotional one. And just like in every other family, you have positive and not so positive moments," says Maire.
The SOS mother did not expect to get five children all at once, but it also did not shock her because she knew that the families in the village are quite big. When eleven-year-old Tiit - a new SOS child - joined the family, previously established daily routines were temporarily roiled. But looking back, Maire thinks that the eldest boy's presence has helped the other children to become more independent.
All children are active and attend different hobby groups, including football, basketball, gymnastics and street parkour. Maire can also cultivate a hobby, much to the liking of her children: "My former profession is very suitable here", says the previous confectioner.
Six-year-old Eidi, excellent in gymnastics, states that everything in the village is better than in the orphanage: "We get candies, we can listen to the radio, watch TV, and play the piano. In our initial home we didn't have food at all, in the orphanage we got food, but it wasn't as good as it is here, in our new home. And we are together here!"
"Now I'm their mother," says Maire. "They have embraced me from the very beginning, and this has not been a one-way road."