Monika (lower right) with her SOS family in Imst, Austria

Many things were unfamiliar to the four girls: the rugged mountains, the odd and incomprehensible dialect, the Tyrolean style house. And then there was that woman: "It took me a long time to call her mom," says Monika. She could still remember her own mother very well, what she had looked like, the sound of her voice. Her mother had died half a year earlier and her father abandoned the family many years before that.

Family Partition

For six months the five sisters had lived on their own, somehow coping with everyday life until a Protestant nun and social worker arranged for the girls to go to the SOS Children's Village. The eldest sister was already 15 years old; too old to be admitted to the SOS Children's Village. It was a painful farewell for the sisters. "It was hard for all of us, but especially hard for my big sister who could not come with us," recalls Monika. At that time, young people at the age of 15, were expected to be working and earning money. Her sister found a job as domestic help in the children's home town, 250 miles away from the SOS Children's Village. Through it all the sisters stayed close, no matter the distance.

A New Future

When Monika and her sisters came to the SOS Children's Village there were already five children in her SOS family. Despite their fears of the unknown, it was all very exciting. Each girl had her own bed, and there were so many children, everyone playing together. In addition Monika had an SOS mother who cared for everything. Eventually the word "mommy" came all by itself, after months of not knowing how to relate. 

The relationship with her SOS mother was marked by numerous ups and downs. Even today, they sometimes shed tears when they meet for coffee on Saturdays and reminisce about the past, says Monika. Over the years, two women with their own backgrounds, their desires, their moments of not talking, their strengths and fears developed a common bond, addressed and expressed countless things. "Today, she is like a rock to me. I cannot imagine my life without her. She is my home. She is the grandmother of my children."

Homecoming

Family life mainly took place in the living room - Photo: SOS Archives

In the SOS Village, family life mainly took place in the living room. Around a large table the family used to eat, play, talk and quarrel. Here the children did their homework and on Sundays they were granted the luxury of listening to the radio together. The children spent their free time outdoors, in the village or playing in the forest with other children from the city of Imst.

In winter they plodded through the deep snow, without boots, because very few could afford them at that time. "When arriving at school they told us that all the SOS Children's Village children should take off their woollen socks and hang them on the heaters," recalls Monika. Their teacher knew of the long trek to school and that being children, they were prone to snowball fights.

Opposing Views

The fact that "the SOS Children's Village children" were labelled as such is something which still grieves Monika today: "I know that there were no bad intentions behind it, but it increased the gap between the children of Imst and those in the SOS Children's Village." In the eyes of the children from Imst, the children from the SOS Children's Village had lots of fantastic things: they had toys, a sports field in the SOS Children's Village and in summer they could go to camp – all these things were very uncommon in the 1950s and 1960s. "We would have given it to them in a second, if we could have had our families back in exchange," Monika emphasizes.

The Shared Joy of Christmas

Monika lovingly reminisces about the Christmas season. The children loved to set up the Nativity on the first Sunday of Advent. Those who had behaved well or had done something special could put a straw into the crib so that Jesus had a soft bed. There was also the tradition of "searching for an inn": "When it had grown dark, the neighbours came to visit us with a picture of the Virgin Mary. We put the picture in a nice place, drank tea together, ate cookies and had a chat. The next day we took the picture to the next house. It was wonderful."

Monika was the "big girl" of the family. She was allowed to help her SOS mother wrap up the presents for the younger children and took them for a walk on Christmas Eve to allow her SOS mother to prepare the Christmas gifts. When time finally came, the youngest child was the first to open his presents, while nine pairs of eyes watched on. Only when that child had finished was the next one allowed to unwrap his presents. "That's how we shared our joy," says Monika. Late at night the older children and the adults could trudge through the snow-covered forest to the Midnight Mass in the village. They met in front of the huge Christmas tree and sang Christmas carols.

Education for "the girl"

Monika and her younger sister Ursula

Monika was good at school, being a quick learner and a passionate reader. "Once a week we could borrow books from the library, and I was always waiting in front of it an hour before it opened."

Monika new that being a girl receiving an education was a priviledge, "I wanted to go to school - particularly because of the other mothers who used to say: 'She is a girl, so why should she continue to go to school?' Our mom defended us. She was proud of us. And I wanted to show the other mothers."

Giving Back

That drive led Monika to realize that she wanted to become a nurse. In the SOS Children's Village they thought that the nursing school in the nearby city of Zams was the best option, but Monika wanted to go to Innsbruck - and was finally allowed to do so. When the girls' home opened in 1966 she was among the first four girls to move in. All four girls arrived in Innsbruck on the train, they were excited and full of anticipation of "the big city." It took them three hours to cover the short distance between the railway station and the girls home. There were so many things to see and gaze at. Monika remembers exactly how they were welcomed with a cold snack before they were told: "I'm sure that you have an apron in your suitcase. Get it out now and let's clean the house."

Transition to Adulthood

Yet Monika considers this time to be the beginning of her process of growing up. "We were treated like young women, we were given more freedom and our self-esteem developed." She finds her way, learns the profession of her dream and works as a nurse for many years. Monika is sixty years old now, married with two daughters. She retired recently, enjoys being a grandmother and going on trips with her husband. She regularly meets both her biological and her SOS brothers and sisters, often at big family celebrations.

When visiting SOS Children's Village Imst today she notices the differences between now and the past. "Times have changed", she says. "From a material point of view the children are of course better off and the girls have less difficulties today. At that time, it was easier for boys to attend higher education or to study, but it was like that in general when I was young. Today the girls are supported in a very different way." She is also impressed that the SOS Children Village is more open than it used to be, that contact with the neighborhood is much more natural and that the SOS Mothers maintain their social contacts outside the Children's Village. However, she is also familiar with the other side of the coin: the backgrounds of the children are different today and it is more common for the SOS mothers to be faced with the harsh realities of violence and abuse.

Strong at heart

Happily married for many years: Monika and Alfred Lienhart - Photo: M. Lienhart

However, at that time the lives of the SOS mothers were not easy either, as Monika knows perfectly well. "I'm sure that it was sometimes too much for them, since they only had received short training. To take on the responsibility for a house and nine children after two months of training and be told: 'Now you are the mother of these children‘ was definitely not easy. You have to be strong at heart to cope with that."

Monika also remembers moments of despair: "There was a time when our SOS mother wanted to give up. We cried our hearts out, we promised her everything to make her stay. And she finally worked it out with us." There are moments when Monika herself is amazed about the direction that her life has taken. I sometimes think: My God, my life is so good. I'm frequently surprised about my life. I would have never thought that I would go to America or Canada. And have the strength to find my way like this."