How to teach your child about advocacy—for themselves and others

How do you communicate the importance of advocacy in a straightforward, understandable manner? How do you teach your child to speak up for themselves and others with age-appropriate language or examples?  

The good news? You’re not left to navigate these questions alone.  

In this guide, we’ve compiled the practical tips you need to encourage and equip the children and teenagers in your life to speak up for themselves and others. 

The foundation: Teaching self-advocacy 

Self-advocacy is the ability to understand one’s thoughts, needs and wants and effectively communicate them with others.  

Common ways children can advocate for themselves include expressing when something makes them uncomfortable, making decisions about their personal preferences or goals and even asking for support when needed. 

For example, a young child might choose which book they would like their parent to read at bedtime or an older child might tell a teacher they can’t see the board from their seat.  

But why is self-advocacy an important skill for children to learn? 

Self-advocacy skills are critical for children’s immediate well-being and long-term health.  

It fosters independence and builds autonomy, equipping children to assume responsibility over their lives, create the future they desire and eventually navigate the complexities of adulthood.  

Self-advocacy also helps your child:  

— Enhance their personal safety. 
Equipping your child with the language and skills they need to set boundaries or communicate when a situation makes them uncomfortable helps protect them from exploitation, abuse and other unsafe situations. 

— Improve their academic performance. 
When your child feels confident in their ability to express their needs—like asking for clarification or extra help understanding a lesson—they’re able to better succeed in school.  

— Develop their long-term life skills. 
Setting healthy boundaries, understanding their preferences and communicating their needs prepares your child for adulthood. Whether maintaining healthy relationships, succeeding in their career or communicating with health care professionals, self-advocacy skills equip your child to build a successful future of their design! 

How to cultivate self-advocacy in your child:  

— Help them verbalize their values and interests. 
A strong sense of identity and personal values are at the heart of self-advocacy. You can help your child understand and communicate who they are and what matters to them through asking open-ended questions and actively listening to their answers.  

Real world examples: 
You might ask a younger child, “You seem to really enjoy learning about dinosaurs. What do you find interesting about them?” or you might ask a school-aged child, “If you could spend all day doing one thing, what would it be?”  

— Pro tip: 
Even simple questions woven into your daily routine can help your child to think about (and then express) what they need. For example, you might say, “You look frustrated. Do you want to take a five-minute break from your math homeworkor would you like some help?” 

— Build their confidence. 
Confidence is key for self-advocacy. To help your child develop the self-assuredness they need to communicate effectively, you might consider role-playing scenarios.  

Real world examples: 
Your child might be nervous about going to the doctor. You and your child could role play the visit with your child acting as the doctor. This gives you the opportunity to model how they might communicate their needs and fears, such as, “Doctor, I understand I need this visit to stay healthy, but I don’t like needles. When it comes time for my shot, could you wait for me to close my eyes or could we turn on a TV show to distract me?” Then, switch roles so your child can practice speaking. This also gives you a chance to cultivate their confidence with positive feedback, such as, “Great job speaking clearly and maintaining eye contact!” 

— Develop decision-making skills.
Decisions reveal what’s important to your child. You can nourish their decision-making skills with simple decisions for a younger child, and then build into more open-ended or complex decisions as your child grows.  

Real world examples: 
You might ask a younger child, “For lunch tomorrow, do you want a ham sandwich or a peanut butter sandwich?” For an older child, you might ask, “What extracurricular activity do you want to do next year?” 

— Nurture their emotional intelligence. 
Understanding and managing their emotions and responses to the situations around them is critical for effective advocacy. You can help your child develop healthy emotional regulation through naming and normalizing feelings, teaching healthy coping strategies and modeling how to practice self-care.  

— Educate them on their rights. 
In order to effectively advocate for themselves (and others), children should understand their inherent rights and the responsibilities of global governments to uphold them. You can begin this conversation with your child by sharing the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. If you have a younger child, it might be easier to use UNICEF’s child-friendly version of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. 

Two simple ways to teach your child to advocate for others

1. Learn about children in need together 

Learning that other children are growing up alone, hungry and without a family to love and protect them can ignite your child’s sense of empathy, which is the starting point for all effective advocacy.  

You can also learn together ways to make a difference for children in need, suggest they discuss what they learn with their friends or even discuss specific ways they could help. 

Education to advocacy: How a Pre-K classroom helped children growing up alone 

When a Pre-K teacher at Friendship Chamberlain Elementary School in Washington, D.C. asked her young pupils what they could do with lemons, the children eagerly raised their hands.  

They listed off creative ideas, and one student inevitably answered, “Make lemonade.” 

As the discussion continued, the children suggested having a lemonade stand and using the money they earned to throw a class party.  

But then a small, thoughtful voice rose above the chatter and suggested they use the money to help other children who didn’t have food or a safe place to sleep. 

The class embraced the compassionate idea, and what started as a classroom activity transformed into an extraordinary display of generosity. 

Months later, the class of empathetic four-year-olds celebrated their graduation to kindergarten at a ceremony where they also presented a check for $1,000 to SOS Children’s Villages so other children can grow up safe, loved and with everything they need to thrive.

These young changemakers made a simple lesson a powerful act of communal generosity for children in need.  

You and your child can join these four-year-olds’ impactful act of compassion by starting your own fundraiser today.  

2. Model behavior 

Did you know that children have “copycat cells” (also known as mirror neurons) that allow them to mimic the behaviors they observe in adults?  

Language acquisition, motor skills, social cues—these mirror neurons are crucial for fostering children’s healthy development.  

But copycat cells are also essential to advocacy because they allow children to feel what others are feeling, developing the foundation for empathy.  

Children, consciously and subconsciously, mirror adult behaviors. As a parent, you can intentionally engage in advocacy (for yourself and others) to ensure your child develops a strong sense of empathy and values advocacy.  

How one couple’s 25-year journey created a family legacy of generosity 

For Vishy and Sumana Kasar, generosity isn’t an action—it’s a lifestyle that has shaped their family for more than two decades.   

“When I was growing up, my dad always said, ‘When you start making money, you should give part of it to a good cause,” Vishy said. “Dad said, ‘Don’t just think of yourself. Be generous.’”  

Since 2000, Vishy and Sumana have joyfully supported the SOS village in their hometown of Bengaluru, India, so children there can grow up in loving homes with the support and resources they need to build brighter futures. 

“Helping children in need is a cause dear to us,” Vishy explains. But rather than giving to any organization that supports children, Vishy and Sumana were drawn to the SOS model.   

Unlike traditional orphanages—where caregiver to child ratios is as high as 1:31—SOS’ innovative village model guarantees children have the trusting relationship with a nurturing caregiver that is essential to their emotional, physical and mental development. Plus, each child has access to all the resources they need to succeed—like professional health care, quality education, nutritious food and so much more.  

What started as a father sowing words of wisdom in his son’s life has blossomed into a family legacy that spans continents.   

“In the same way that my dad made me aware, I wanted to make sure that my children are not self-centered but always think about other people,” Vishy said. “We are both really proud that are children have now become SOS supporters. As parents, it’s a good legacy we’re passing on.”  

You can model generosity and advocacy for your children by sponsoring a village, delivering the safe, loving home so children in need can thrive! 

Learn more about how sponsoring can change your child’s life. 

How you and your child can advocate for children in need 

You can create a ripple effect of good that echoes through the life of your family and children in need.  

When you start a fundraiser today, you can model advocacy behavior and build your child’s confidence in their ability to make a difference by rallying your community to support children in need.