Calm Down Kit: How to help your child build healthy emotional regulation skills

But the good news? Emotional regulation is a skill—and with the right tools and a little practice, children can learn to recognize overwhelming feelings, soothe their nervous system and find their way back to calm.  

A Calm Down Kit is a simple, hands-on and personalized collection of coping tools you can create together with your child, filled with comforting items to help them self-regulate independently. 

In this guide, you’ll find everything you need to create a Calm Down Kit with your child—and help them build one of the most important skills they will need in life: emotional regulation.  

What is a Calm Down Kit?  

A Calm Down Kit is a collection of objects a child can use to help self-regulate when their emotions feel overwhelming.  

Kits typically include feelings cards or a feelings wheel, relaxation prompts and sensory materials—like stress balls or putty—to help children calm down and return to a regulated state. Some families also create a dedicated corner in their living room or other common space where the kit stays, giving children a safe, familiar space to retreat and self-soothe.  

By creating a kit together, you’re not only providing a child with the coping skills they need to manage their emotions, you’re also helping them discover what tools work best for them, building self-awareness alongside self-regulation.  

Why Calm Down Kits work: The science behind emotional regulation 

When a child feels overwhelmed, their nervous system enters a stress response, also known as “fight or flight.” This heightened state makes it difficult to think clearly, communicate or even calm down without support. 

Emotional regulation activities, like a Calm Down Kit, work for children by interrupting this stress response through sensory input that helps a child return to a calm state by slowing their heart rate and redirecting their mental focus. 

Research continues to show that children with self-regulation skills have improved mental health, better academic performance and even stronger interpersonal relationships. Plus, these skills help children build resilience which prepares them to navigate challenges and handle future stressors. 

A Calm Down Kit gives children concrete, accessible ways to practice self-regulation skills independently—turning an abstract concept into a hands-on habit.  

And the presence of a loving, trusted adult like you to help create a kit and model its uses also matters, delivering the emotional support your child needs for healthy brain development and emotional regulation.  

How to make a Calm Down Kit:  

Step 1: Choose a container. Start with a box, basket or bag your child loves. You can even buy supplies and set aside time to decorate it so they feel excited and invested in the process.  

Step 2: Explain its purpose. Before you start filling the kit, explain its purpose using language your child will understand. Explanations like, “Everyone feels angry, sad or overwhelmed sometimes, and this box has resources that can help us feel better” can be helpful.  

It can also be beneficial to remind them that the contents in the Calm Down Kit are special tools for difficult moments, not regular toys. This boundary helps children understand when and how to use it.   

Step 3: Fill it together. No matter your child’s age, you can ensure they’re involved in choosing what goes inside. The more ownership they feel over the kit, the more likely they are to reach for it when needed. Encourage them to focus on items they love, use often or find comforting.  

Step 4: Practice using it. To help your child fully grasp the concept of a Calm Down Kit and remember when to use it, you may need to model the first few times. This modeling helps your child’s mirror neurons (also known as “copycat cells”) mimic the behavior they observe and implement it on their own in a similar scenario later.  

For example:  

— You may say, “When I feel overwhelmed, sometimes it’s hard to breathe and think clearly. I’m going to my Calm Down Kit. To help myself feel calm and breathe normally, I’m going to use the bubble wand to blow five bubbles.”  Depending on your child’s age, you could even explain how the act of blowing bubbles—slow, deep and rhythmic breathing—activates the parasympathetic nervous system. This lowers our bodies’ heart rate, reduces cortisol—the body’s stress hormone—and returns us to a state of homeostasis or calm.  

— You may say, “I’m feeling so angry [or frustrated]. My heart is racing. My jaw muscles are clenched. My face feels really hot. I’m going to my Calm Down Kit. To help my heart slow down and muscles relax, I’m going to squeeze my stress ball or play with my putty.” Depending on your child’s age, you could even explain how the act of squeezing a stress ball or putty can release endorphins—the body’s “feel good” chemicals—and release muscle tension through their hands, all of which moves their body from a state of heightened adrenaline and cortisol (“fight or flight”) to a state of homeostasis or calm. 

Step 5: Revisit and refresh. As your child grows, their needs and interests will likely change, so check in on the kit regularly and update it together to ensure it continues to meet your child’s needs. 

Calm Down Kit ideas for toddlers:  

For toddlers, the focus should be on sensory comfort and simple, engaging tools that are age-appropriate.   

— Sensory or tactile books like The Color Monster, which also features characters managing overwhelming emotions. 

— Age-appropriate art supplies—like clay, large crayons, coloring pages, stickers—to help release tension and reduce stress nonverbally. Studies show that 75% of participants experience lower cortisol—the body’s stress hormone—after making art.  

— A favorite stuffed animal to provide comfort and help regulate their nervous system through touch. 

— Pinwheels or bubbles to encourage deep, slow breaths, which decrease stress and naturally calm the body. 

— Simple feelings cards with illustrated faces to help toddlers begin identifying and naming emotions. 

Calm Down Kit ideas for elementary or middle schoolers: 

Children at this age benefit from tools that channel restless energy and build emotional vocabulary alongside self-regulation skills. 

— Legos, building blocks, stress balls or putty to help focus restless energy and clear their mind. 

— Coloring books and other age-appropriate art supplies to help release tension. 

— A journal for writing or drawing feelings. 

— A favorite stuffed animal to provide comfort and help regulate their nervous system through touch. 

— Emotion charts, cards or feeling wheels to help children identify, name or understand their emotions. 

— Mindfulness cards with simple breathing exercises, which decrease stress and naturally calm the body.  

Calm Down Kit ideas for teenagers:  

Teenagers often resist anything that feels childish—so the focus should be on items that feel mature, while also remaining sensory-oriented and genuinely calming. 

— Candles or their favorite scent to help calm them and provide emotional comfort. 

— Journals and art supplies for emotional processing. 

— Small puzzles or crosswords to redirect anxious energy into focused problem-solving.  

— Fidget toys like Rubik’s cubes, spinners or stress balls to relieve tension in their hands.  

— A weighted blanket for calming pressure, which is proven to reduce anxiety. 

— Mindfulness cards with breathing exercises to decrease stress and regulate their nervous system. 

Promoting the safe, emotionally-healthy childhoods children deserve 

A Calm Down Kit won't eliminate big emotions — and it isn't meant to. Big feelings are a healthy, normal part of childhood. What a Calm Down Kit does is give your child the coping skills, the self-awareness and the confidence to navigate those feelings without becoming overwhelmed by them. 

And the time you spend building it together? That's not just craft time. It's valuable connection time—the kind of safe, nurturing relationship that research shows is one of the most powerful protective factors in a child's life. 

At SOS Children's Villages, we believe that every child deserves the emotional support, stability and tools they need to thrive. For more resources on supporting children's mental health and emotional wellbeing, explore our trauma resources and parenting guides. 

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